stupid.

I really want to bite all my nails off right now. It is really hard not to. It’s been the better part of a month.

Nail Biting

I am not going to diagnose myself. I am just going to write about my struggles.

Nail biting is a very common habit and for a lot of people it is not a big deal. I have been a nail biter my whole life and it has never interfered with my quality of life.

..until I try to quit.

The mercury debate

Recently for my biology class I had to look at 3 different websites (http://www.gotmercury.org, http://www.mercuryfacts.org, http://water.epa.gov/scitech/swguidance/fishshellfish/outreach/factsheet.cfm) with varying positions on the issue of mercury levels in the fish we eat and write up a paper on my findings. I really enjoyed the assignment and figured I’d post it here. This was not a MLA format type of research assignment so I was able to have fun with my format.

The case against fish consumption

Women are not allowed to enjoy food

You read the title correctly- according to every food product commercial I’ve ever seen targeting women customers, I’m supposed to feel guilty about everything I eat that does not fall under the diet or low calorie label.
I think pretty much everyone is familiar with how skinny models on the covers of magazines affect a woman’s body image but only recently did I start paying attention to commercials for food. Just this morning I saw a truvia ad. These ads always catch my attention because of their obnoxious jingles but today I was annoyed even further by the ad itself:

“losing faith”

Hey hey look another post about religion. I should just give up on keeping this blog positive and upbeat. Anyhoo, moving on..

Below is a recent submission to Postsecret. There is usally at least one or two or five secrets about god each week.

Postsecret

And every week I am annoyed by them. Not because religious people are submitting secrets to postsecret, but because of the insight into the whole christian mindset. This has nothing to do with the eating disorder referenced in the image. It has to do with this person’s supposed “loss of faith.” I’m not going to attack this person for submitting a deep and personal secret online, that would be mean. This is simply an example of a common christian style of  “losing god.”

Ugh this place sometimes

I like living in rural America for the most part. It is like living in a time warp and that is both unique and disgusting. I get all the quirks and quaintness that comes with small town America with heaping sides of intolerance, racism, and a complete disregard for the 1st ammendment. 
This is not my first choice as far as places to live go, but i’m happy to have a job and an affordable place with my love.. But holy crap, sometimes I just want to scream.
Like today, for instance-

I do not always want to be happy

There is a part of me that has been locked away for a while. It’s for the best I suppose, but sometimes I really miss it.
There was a period in my life where I was very confused. I guess it was me coming of age. I don’t think it’s abnormal. It started in college when I left my long-time boyfriend and first love. My parents both lived far away so for the first time in my life I had no one I had to explain myself to. I partied and dated different men, and it was liberating and felt great. Of course I did stupid things, but I was shielded from guilt or humility by my own blissful ignorance. Somewhere in the middle of it all I was writing better than I had ever written. Poems just fell out of me, it felt so good.

Been quiet around here…

Yeah, I’ve basically hit that point where I’ve got nothing good to write about. I’ve taken to reblogging and posting pictures and audio on my tumblr- http://girl-inquisitive.tumblr.com/

I’m still a happy, proud and confident atheist. Go team!

Little Worlds

Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be an insect? To be so teeny tiny that you can sit on a leaf? To live in a world so small that each minute is like a day? I do. Every time I see a butterfly or a dragonfly or a bee, I try to imagine myself in that little world…

Girls girls girls

Ok, the inspiration for this post came from the movie Sucker Punch, which I refuse to see until it comes out on dvd. Based on the reviews alone I have chosen not to see the movie, not because of how bad I fear it might be, but because it was marketed as something that could empower women. Let me set the record straight: sexy women beating people up, acting as strippers and prostitutes and getting raped is not empowering! Before you roll your eyes at me please don’t assume I am some insecure woman who hides my body and is anti-sexuality. I am not a prude! I also think I am *quite* sexy thank you very much, and I do take pride in my appearance. HOWEVER, I want my appearance to be secondary to who I am as a person.
So, theres a lot of directions I can go with this, but I’m going to try not to turn it into a huge rant. By the way, I know I said I didn’t want to rant on my blog all the time, and now I haven’t posted in 3 months soooo… something is better than nothing I guess?

RAPE (bitter)
I am soooo sick of seeing heroines and lead females being raped.