Girl, Inquisitive

Women are not allowed to enjoy food

Ariane — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 16:55:43 +0000

You read the title correctly- according to every food product commercial I’ve ever seen targeting women customers, I’m supposed to feel guilty about everything I eat that does not fall under the diet or low calorie label.
I think pretty much everyone is familiar with how skinny models on the covers of magazines affect a woman’s body image but only recently did I start paying attention to commercials for food. Just this morning I saw a truvia ad. These ads always catch my attention because of their obnoxious jingles but today I was annoyed even further by the ad itself:

That woman looks MISERABLE. Like she is disgusted with herself for taking a *bite* of a donut. What’s even worse is that she is a beautiful woman! Not fat by any means, pretty face and features, but of course they styled her with a flat, frumpy hairdo, bland pale makeup, a plain outfit and placed her behind a desk in a dismal office. I don’t doubt that people like her exist out there and this commercial only serves to remind them of their misery and promise a solution- truvia. Which of course isn’t a solution at all. She should start valuing herself for her other qualities. She should exercise and eat healthy because she doesn’t want to get diabetes or heart disease, not because she feels pressured to look a certain way. Truvia isn’t going to turn her into a supermodel with no problems.
What’s worse is that instead of marketing truvia to diabetics, a population that seems to embrace and love this product, they chose to prey upon insecure women who, if I go by the model customer presented in the ad, do not even need to lose weight. Should I be surprised? Of course not.

To my male readers (if I haven’t lost you yet): think about the food products marketed to men; “Chunky” soup, “HungryMan” tv dinners, bacon-wrapped anything. Conversely, the world is telling you that if you don’t eat like a fatass you aren’t a man. It is “girly” to care about your appearance and your health. You should be equally offended because wanting not to die of a heart attack is an incredibly valid desire. Men who have suffered from heart disease or are at a high risk for it do not deserve to feel like wimps for not eating high-cholesterol foods. Of course this isn’t nearly as pervasive as the above technique for marketing to women but it is still worth noting.

Ok returning to the title subject- I am just going to brainstorm and pull out products off the top of my head that target women’s body issues: most yogurts, special k, lean cuisine, weight watchers, smart ones cookies, slim fast, I’m sure this list could grow and grow. It is sad and frustrating that there is a whole industry of food products built upon women’s insecurities. Why can’t food be androgenous? Why does it have to be male or female? Why do men get to gorge on whatever they want and women have to limit themselves to low-calorie nibble-sized portions? Fortunately I am not the only one making note of this trend: http://www.harpyness.com/2011/02/09/attention-women-big-food-hates-you/

Women everywhere- I challenge you. I challenge you to eat whatever the hell you want and enjoy it. Start loving yourselves and let that be the driving force for any change you feel you need to make, not media-induced guilt.

“losing faith”

Ariane — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:18:10 +0000

Hey hey look another post about religion. I should just give up on keeping this blog positive and upbeat. Anyhoo, moving on..

Below is a recent submission to Postsecret. There is usally at least one or two or five secrets about god each week.

Postsecret

And every week I am annoyed by them. Not because religious people are submitting secrets to postsecret, but because of the insight into the whole christian mindset. This has nothing to do with the eating disorder referenced in the image. It has to do with this person’s supposed “loss of faith.” I’m not going to attack this person for submitting a deep and personal secret online, that would be mean. This is simply an example of a common christian style of “losing god.”

What do I mean by a christian style of losing god? Well, it’s the whole notion of losing touch or losing faith. Mainly it’s the whole perception of a loss. If one day you come to the conclusion that there is no god then you are not “losing” a god. You are simply acknowledging that it/he/whatever never existed. How can you lose something that doesn’t exist? True atheists don’t lose god or have a falling out, they simply let go. It’s a very positive experience. It’s chosing to accept heaven on Earth, and living for today.

The person who wrote the above secret is not an atheist. I think that the individuals behind secrets like these illustrate how confining religion is. The person for whatever reason does not devote as much time to religious beliefs as they feel they should, and eventually feels guilty and scared for his or her soul. This is where I get annoyed. I worry that when christians read these kind of secrets that they are interpreting them as atheism. Atheism isn’t neglect, it’s acceptance.

I’m reminded of a time when, upon seeing my science fish car emblem, a couple gave me a little “peace with god” tract with a bunch of bible passages in it about trusting god. If I were simply somebody who fell out of touch with “the lord” this little token of concern would have touched my heart. Instead it was insulting. It’s as if the person giving this book to me thought that deep down, I must really know that there is a god and he is just waiting for me to pray to him and recognize him. No- I choose not to pray because praying is worthless and I might as well be talking to a bookshelf or a lamp.

A lot of christians it seems don’t understand that someone can be happy and whole without a religion so they attempt to swoop in and rescue people with life rafts like that silly little tract. The woman who gave me the tract (her husband is a preacher.. surprise) saw me as this lost soul thrashing around in a turbulent ocean of confusion and lonliness when it’s more like I am floating on my back in waist deep crystal blue waters on a warm sunny day watching the palm trees sway and clouds blow by. I don’t need rescuing. I’m happy. She should have handed me a dressed corona instead.

I think if more christians acknowledged atheism as a well thought out conclusion or decision instead of a deficiency then atheists like myself would get the respect we deserve. There is nothing wrong with not having a religion damnit, I don’t want or need your pity.

Ugh this place sometimes

Ariane — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:01:41 +0000

I like living in rural America for the most part. It is like living in a time warp and that is both unique and disgusting. I get all the quirks and quaintness that comes with small town America with heaping sides of intolerance, racism, and a complete disregard for the 1st ammendment.
This is not my first choice as far as places to live go, but i’m happy to have a job and an affordable place with my love.. But holy crap, sometimes I just want to scream.
Like today, for instance- an old woman comes into my place of work and asks about where a specific lunch buffet is and for some reason feels the need to mention shes with blah blah church. I know it’s not a big deal but OMGIDGAF. What am I supposed to do with this information? Does she want some special treatment? I don’t get it. Am I supposed kneel before her? Give her a hug? Kiss her hand? Congrats old lady- you’re just like every other sheltered old-timer who has come to expect some sort of reverence for being old and christian. You have my respect because you’re old and that’s it. Chances are though that I disagree completely with your politics and theology and would gladly argue your frail old ass into the ground on those matters had I met you in different circumstances.
Anyway.. In this place I feel suffocated by these kinds of people. A local high school girl told me she doesn’t think white people should date black people and that she hardly knows anyone who doesn’t go church. She’s young though, and she’s not who I should direct any anger at. It comes back to that whole time warp thing and the crap that comes with it. Is it so freaking hard to maintain the small town charm AND integrate with modern society? It’s not, and it has been done successfully in a lot of places. One thing that might help is to not shove the bible down every freaking visitors throat.

Ugh sorry for the rant but this kind of stuff literally makes my skin crawl and makes me ashamed for America.

I do not always want to be happy

Ariane — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:44:08 +0000

There is a part of me that has been locked away for a while. It’s for the best I suppose, but sometimes I really miss it.
There was a period in my life where I was very confused. I guess it was me coming of age. I don’t think it’s abnormal. It started in college when I left my long-time boyfriend and first love. My parents both lived far away so for the first time in my life I had no one I had to explain myself to. I partied and dated different men, and it was liberating and felt great. Of course I did stupid things, but I was shielded from guilt or humility by my own blissful ignorance. Somewhere in the middle of it all I was writing better than I had ever written. Poems just fell out of me, it felt so good.

When I got out of college and got a good, professional job I was surrounded by expectations. Home ownership, promotions, marriage, family.. it was all around me and I was only 21. At first I was proud of myself and I loved my job, and I still love the people I worked with there. Eventually though, the confines of that molded life became suffocating. I had issues I was still dealing with. The navy kept me and my father apart as a child, and when I became a young woman and he retired I could no longer blame the navy and circumstance turned into neglect and abandonment. I think those were my hardest times. Of course I looked to fill the void with other men. I went through an angry phase. I started hanging out with a rough crowd, I got tattoos (which I still love, they are a part of me) and started smoking cigarettes. I remember partying into the morning sometimes, letting the night take me anywhere. I wasn’t happy but I was free. I still had my work family to keep me grounded, and if it weren’t for those compassionate nerds I built websites with who knows where I’d be.

I wanna say it was May of 2008 when I found out that my father was arrested for child molestation. I think he had a lot of depression surrounding my little brother and I (he never touched us and he did love us) and the family he married into was asking too much of him. His father’s death hit him hard. Once he retired he had a lot of difficulty finding a job, and I think he was overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy. He let himself slip deeper and deeper into depression and turned to alcohol. He had told me more than once over the phone how he wished he would die. I got the call about his arrest when I was at a Nationals game with my friends. They held him in suicide watch for a while before they sent him to the city jail.

Since those events happened I’ve moved to a different state and started a new life. I thought I was going to marry the man who was with me when I was last in Virginia, but I panicked and pushed him away. He loved me, I feel bad for hurting him. Now I am in a new relationship and I think I can finally rest on solid ground.

So here I am, and I feel numb to pain.
I felt nothing writing about my father. I remember being able to write poem after poem after poem when I left my first love. It was like someone had opened the flood gates. I could get lost inside myself. It was so therapeutic having a heart in turmoil, falling in love with men who didn’t love me, and letting the pain ooze out into words. I don’t have that anymore. I miss those days terribly. Now I have been forced to lock all my pain up in jail with my father. Even when I found my heart in turmoil again and again after moving to Fl, I couldn’t access the emotions that allowed me to write. My most cherished creative inspiration is locked inside a cell, sedated. I’m happy in my life now, don’t get me wrong. I love my boyfriend and I daydream about marrying him. I’m in good physical shape again and exercising regularly. I’ve got a stable job and a cute little apartment that I share with my love and though I miss him terribly when he’s gone, the pain just doesn’t compare. A part of me is dead.

Maybe writing all this will help. Maybe one day I will be able to pick the lock of that cell, and let just enough pain out to write a good poem before slamming the cell doors shut again so that I don’t fall to my knees in sorrow. If I can mitigate my darkest pain maybe I can feel whole again. I do not always want to be happy if it means that I am numb.

Been quiet around here…

Ariane — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 18:44:01 +0000

Yeah, I’ve basically hit that point where I’ve got nothing good to write about. I’ve taken to reblogging and posting pictures and audio on my tumblr- http://girl-inquisitive.tumblr.com/

I’m still a happy, proud and confident atheist. Go team!

Little Worlds

Ariane — Sun, 08 May 2011 18:29:47 +0000

Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be an insect? To be so teeny tiny that you can sit on a leaf? To live in a world so small that each minute is like a day? I do. Every time I see a butterfly or a dragonfly or a bee, I try to imagine myself in that little world…

I would happily come out into the sunshine each day, and seek out the colors and smells of my next meal with my keen senses. Every now and then a breeze would carry me up or send the fragrance of a fresh blossom in my direction. I would have no comprehension of politics or money or deadlines. I would be living in the moment, oblivious to the complexity of the much larger world encompassing mine. My world would be flowers and trees, shade and sun, wet and dry. I would not question why I seek out nectar or why, if I am butterfly, I was once a caterpillar. I would be completely at the mercy of the programming in my dna. I would be completely submissive to life itself. I would not be able to know how important my life is. I would not know that I am pollinating a citrus tree in a grove in Florida, which will bear fruit because of me, and that fruit will become a small child’s glass of orange juice in the morning before school. All I would know is that I am hungry and this orange blossom is delicious. I could get hit by a car tomorrow while fluttering across the street, seduced by a tasty aroma, but I do not know this.

“When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.” -John Muir

To some, existence in this little world may seem pointless, but it is a part of something much bigger. The butterflies, dragonflies and bees do not know how much other lifeforms depend on them for survival. They do not need us like we need them and for that reason maybe we could all do a little to give back and preserve the world we all share.

Check out these up close and personal photos of our tiny neighbors: http://www.flickr.com/groups/insect-macro-photography/

Girls girls girls

Ariane — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 20:53:50 +0000

Ok, the inspiration for this post came from the movie Sucker Punch, which I refuse to see until it comes out on dvd. Based on the reviews alone I have chosen not to see the movie, not because of how bad I fear it might be, but because it was marketed as something that could empower women. Let me set the record straight: sexy women beating people up, acting as strippers and prostitutes and getting raped is not empowering! Before you roll your eyes at me please don’t assume I am some insecure woman who hides my body and is anti-sexuality. I am not a prude! I also think I am *quite* sexy thank you very much, and I do take pride in my appearance. HOWEVER, I want my appearance to be secondary to who I am as a person.
So, theres a lot of directions I can go with this, but I’m going to try not to turn it into a huge rant. By the way, I know I said I didn’t want to rant on my blog all the time, and now I haven’t posted in 3 months soooo… something is better than nothing I guess?

RAPE (bitter)
I am soooo sick of seeing heroines and lead females being raped. I know that part of the reason we feel this is ok is because it highlights the struggles women face in soceity and maybe it makes men more aware? Well to me, it just victimizes women. No matter how strong or independent a woman lead’s character is written, it seems like there is always another dick written into the plot who will rape her or beat her. This isn’t true of all movies of course, but I see it a lot in action movies, which are typically targeted at men, which makes it hurt even more. It’s like these movies are telling me “if you want to be a sexy, strong and defiant woman thats cool but you’re probably gonna get raped for it.” Is that what men subconsciously enjoy? Confident women being put in their place? Being reminded that they are for sex? Even when the rape is avenged, I still find myself angry that it happened in the first place. Movies are a place we are supposed to be able to escape to, how about for once we escape to a place where sexism and oppression don’t exist?

EMBRACING SEXUALITY
Every woman wants to feel sexy, there’s no denying that. Being sexy is fun. Let’s not act like it’s this is a bold new idea though. Yeah, for a lot of conservatives it is, but I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about mainstream America. Women have extra-marital sexual relations, we know this, and most of us agree that this does not make said women ”whores” or “sluts.” Maybe I’m still too young, maybe I’m just ahead of things.. but I grew up after the days of Marilyn Monroe, and I was just a kid when Madonna was controversial. Isn’t the idea of feminine sexuality kind of..old news? Like REALLY old news? Look movies and music videos, I get it. Women can wear next to nothing and still be respected, and that’s fantastic, but I’m seriously reallly f**king sick of having mainstream media’s ideas of what feminine sexuality is shoved down my throat. We all agree that there isn’t one standard of beauty, and there isn’t one standard of sexy either. Helen Hunt in Twister was hot, Jodie Foster in Contact was hot, Ripley in Alien was hot. These women’s CHARACTERS were sexy. There should ALWAYS be more than meets the eye to consider.

AND ANOTHER THING.. (being redundant)
You’re seriosuly gonna cast a bunch of skinny pop tart-looking ladies and put them in sex costumes and call that empowering to women? Go f**k yourself hollywood. Real badass women come in all different shapes and sizes- like that granny who beat a purse-snatcher. Real women do awesome things everyday, but for some reason it’s only worth paying real attention to when the woman is hot by hollywood standards. It’s not such a stretch for a woman to be attractive and strong, and those kinds of characters shouldn’t outshine regular-looking strong women. There’s all kinds of ugly male heroes cast in movies, and they are all written to have women fawning over them, can we please do the same for women?!

Alright now, if I try to write anymore this post will just continue to deteriorate in structure and focus. /rage

Escapism: For your health.

Ariane — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 17:29:38 +0000

If you have been reading my blog at all you know I touch on a lot of volatile subjects. Recently I’ve been trying to move to more happier and upbeat posts in an effort to not be so negative. Well, fortunately I am a person who goes through phases, and I think that my pallete has grown numb to politics. I still read news and form my own opinions, but for the moment I’ve grown tired of bitching about them. Maybe it’s because I’m happier these days and I no longer need to externalize my inner turmoils in the form of bitter cultural criticism. Whatever the case may be, I like writing, and I need to find new things to write about.
I’ve always been a fan of art and now technology has allowed me limitless resources for inspiration. I like working with my hands and making things, but there’s never been one “thing” that I do or make. I don’t paint, I used to draw, I’m getting into cooking, I love decorating (provided I have the money to spend), I don’t play an instrument (but I think I can sing alright)… I dunno, the point is that I need to pick something and actually invest the time and effort into getting good at it. I have this urge to create. One thing I really enjoy is repurposing things. I’ve been taking down and repairing our christmas lights here at work and I’ve been saving the burnt out little bulbs with the intent on creating a piece of art with them. I have something in mind but I’ve just been so poor lately I can’t afford to go purchase the rest of the supplies. Next month I should be able to get started on it though. I’ll post pictures when it’s done (don’t hold your breath). I also want to learn to play an instrument. I have decided I want to buy a banjo. Again though I am strapped for cash this month so it will be on the backburner for a bit…
But enough rambling about crafts- I guess the point of this post is to say that, I’m moving in a different direction. I can’t spend my days dwelling in my frustrations with the world. Stress is a killer and I don’t want to send myself to an early grave because of things I can only do so much to change. What I can do is stop feeding the media monster and just live my life. It’s time to restore some sanity.

Dear tea baggers..

Ariane — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 19:46:23 +0000

When the founding fathers wrote the constitution there were roughly 4 million in the US. Now there are 308 million. Needless to say, technology and culture has since come a looooooong way. When the environment changes adaptability is the key to survival. Quit being stubborn and ignorant, you’re killing America.

Merry and Happy

Ariane — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 20:49:10 +0000

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Solstice/Festivus/break from work and I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I know I push Atheism a lot on my blog but I truly believe ”the holiday season” is for everyone. Without the warmth of festive family gatherings, good food and presents to buffer the harsh arrival of winter I think the world would be a colder place. While the “Happy Birthday Jesus” and “Jesus is the reason for the season” crap does annoy the piss out of me, I can still appreciate a beautifully decorated Christmas tree just the same as anybody and I can enjoy the gift of giving without being reminded of the Nativity story ad nauseum.
So whether somebody chooses to say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” makes no difference to me, all I hear is the “merry” or “happy,” to which I say thank you. How can I not appreciate somebody wanting me to be happy?