rocketship fish car decal

I should probably wash my car

I am not religious. I feel happy, fulfilled, and enriched. I love my fellow man and strive every day to be a creature of compassion and to be giving and selfless. I want to change the world for the better.

You know the saying it’s not about the destination, but the journey? We all know of one thing for certain: each and every one of us will die. So then why are we here? That is the question that religion assumes an answer to. I believe we are not meant to know that answer yet, that’s why we have science. Science is the journey. Humanity’s never ending thirst for knowledge is proof to me, that we do not and cannot know. It’s like getting to know someone, you can read a paragraph about a person but do you truly know that person? Are you guaranteed that the paragraph is honest and truthful? Could you, yourself, completely introduce yourself, the complexities of your emotion, the pains and joys of your past, your insecurities and your pride, your knowledge, on paper? We don’t read manuals to gain friends; it’s a journey that takes place internally so we learn about ourselves. We shouldn’t be reading manuals to live life. Do you really believe that life is so small its whole purpose can be explained in a book? Continue reading “Religion”

Recreational Drinking

Ah.. alcohol. I’m a fan. I like alcohol because it gets me over the hurdles of my own inhibitions, it helps me form bonds with new people, and relaxes me when I am strung out or anxious. I think everyone at one point in their life stands to benefit from the consumption of a cold one.

However it has come to my attention that drinking alcohol is nowadays a competition. With the increasing use of social networking sites an increasing amount of party photos get posted. “Look at me I have a social life!” Yes I see that.. and all it consists of is drinking. Let me break it down- getting drunk is very easy. It’s not an impressive feat worthy of praise or recognition. Everybody does it. Good people do it, bad people do it, ugly people do it, pretty people do it. Whoop-dee-freakin-do. I feel pressured to drink in social situations.. almost every time I drink with a group of people I do it because I’m expecting something cool to happen or something to be revealed to me, something big is going to happen and I want to be part of it. I always get let down. It seems to me that the only thing that ever happens is that people act like fools and/or make mistakes. Continue reading “Recreational Drinking”

look away

i look at you for a sign
a sign that you agree
maybe you will answer
in the way you look at me


and so my mind lies waiting
and days later you will say
that i’m looking at you strangely
so for now i’ll look away


It’s been quiet here. Above is another poem, I will be away from a computer for a few days so it will be a bit before I can sit down and devote time to a real post.

Abstract Art

I remember back in college, in my contemporary art class, we learned about non-objective and abstract expressionism art. I remember learning about artists like Pollock and Rothko, and a class discussion on non-objective art. The teacher (her name escapes me at the moment) set up a debate on whether or not abstract impressionism was really “art.” She then divided the class into two opposing sides. Going into this, I didn’t have a lot of respect for what abstract expressionism truly was, and I was dealth the “for” abstract expressionism viewpoint. I had to defend abstract expressionism as art. Each side was given two essays to read, one for and one against, and then we had to make a case for our argument and defend it. Now, it is a personal philosophy of mine to keep my mind maleable and open to change, so as I started to shift perceptions for the sake of the exercise, I learned and I felt my opinions changing.

Before I continue I want to take a moment to ask you, the reader, “what is art?” We all know the superficial interpretation as paintings and sculptures and things that are generally aesthetically pleasing. We often define it from the perspective of consumer or audience. When you can only see art from this point of view it does become very difficult to comprehend non-objective art as something that has a lot of value, especially when compared to the works of a more traditional artist like Michelangelo. The way Michelangelo recreated the human form with such detail and emotion is indeed extremely impressive. Now when you compare one of Mark Rothko’s color fields to the Sistine Chapel you might find yourself wondering how any comparison can be made. Well, this all goes back to the question “what is art?” Continue reading “Abstract Art”


Ah yes, creativity. A demon I’ve battled a lot in my life.

“I need to think of something.”

In modern society we are under a lot of pressure to produce. A problem I find with that is that when your mind is constantly chugging along focusing on an endless list of tasks you rob yourself of the true bliss in just dwelling on nothing in particular. “What do clouds taste like?” “What language do cats think in?” It is in these moments of vacation from the stressful assembly line thought process that creation is freed from the shackles of production. When I am having difficulty thinking of something, I try to think of nothing at all. Do you ever have a zillion thoughts flying around in your head at once? It can be extremely stressful and taxing to keep track of where all these little thoughts are whizzing to. One thing I’ve learned to do in these situations is stop. When I get overwhelmed I stop everything I am doing, turn away from the task at hand and stare off into space. Not exactly a model for productivity eh? I used to do this without reason, my brain just became overloaded until it would practically float away. Being aware of my apparent uselessness as a producer of whatever, it made me feel inadequate and only fueled the cycle of anxiety. Now, I have learned to grant myself permission to daydream.

I think of my mind as a bare white room, and throughout the day objects move in and out of it. Objects of different shapes, sizes, colors, etc. These are my thoughts. The thoughts or objects that are most useful or interesting or appealing, etc, I tend to keep in the room the longest. After a while I collect more and more objects until the room is so cluttered nothing else can come in. This is when productivity and creativity come to a screeching halt. Before I would open a window or move stuff around in the room so as not to stifle the completion of tasks. But now I completely release myself from the mental assembly line, guilt free. Why? Because meaningless daydreaming makes the clutter disappear. After no time at all, I have a clean bare room. Now fresh new objects are free to enter again.

The point? Doing nothing may not feed productivity, but it is the blank canvas of creativity. At the end of the day are you more fulfilled when you have produced what is expected or when you have created something truly your own that can be invested in?